The Celtic Cross That Opened My Eyes

Deck: The Divine Tarot

Question: What is my current situation? (General)

Spread:                   3          10
                         5 1X2 6       9
                              4           8
                                           7

Cards:
1) Heart of the Matter: The Tower
2) Hindrance: 6 of Coins
3) Conscious Thoughts: Knight of Coins
4) Unconscious Thoughts: The Emperor
5) The Past/Receding Influence: 10 of Wands
6) The Future/Coming Influence: King of Swords
7) My Influence: 2 of Sword
8) External Factors: 3 of Cups
9) Guidance: 10 of Cups
10) Outcome: The Fool
11) Shadow: Queen of Coins

Comments: This was something I threw out when I was in a terrible mood, and was mentally blocked, unable to read anything. The reason why I post this is because I understood the spread as it showed me aspects of my life that came on that day itself. From now on, I'm also going to try to include a shadow card to each spread, i.e. bottom card of deck, represents unknown factors.

Interpretation: The tower. I definitely was in for a rude awakening. I got sort of close to this girl I know. But then came in this other guy, who seemed incapable. But suddenly the tides changed, something I never believed possible. This crossed by the 6 of coins, gives me the impression that I was unsure if I wanted to go through with her despite, or simply lay low. A friend of mine had an interesting interpretation to this: 自己自身难保还拔刀相助, meaning I can't even protect myself, yet I still try to protect others. In a sense this is a bit more general, that I want to help people with the tarot yet I can't even help myself......

Knight of Coins, not much to comment on. My first interpretation is that I am unsure of how to use my resources.

The Emperor in this spread is my father. More on that later.

In the past I was the man in the 10 of wands, always trying to achieve too much. this burden, I have carried on to my present. In the future though, I will be in more control of my thoughts and logic, which means fewer self-sabotaging thoughts.

How I seem myself, the two of swords. Blinded form what is, and blocked off from it as well. As to how others see me, I'm not sure of an interpretation yet, generally a cheery and easy to talk to person?

Advice, 10 of cups. Here is where stuff gets good. 10 of cups is generally a family card, but I really can't stand my family. Yet I was so upset that I simply had to cry to my father (the emperor! Apparently someone I yearn for). And as he spoke I suddenly gained clarity as to most of the events that lead up to where I was now (the 10 wands I carried from before up till now). And then, his exact words, we can correct everything, and then start anew. The fool, anyone?

An unknown factor is the 10 of coins. My first thought was, is this a side of her? Probably not. All I could say is that she's someone I know but haven't fully realised what we are.

Interesting spread.

Notes: When I laid this out, the tower crossed by 6 of coins most caught my attention. Later that day, when I was to do a 1 card reading to see if a friend would turn up, 6 of coins was a jumper, and I picked the tower!!!

A Realisation From The Unconscious

Deck: Rider Waite Smith

Question: What is the main source of depressive feelings currently?

Spread:                   3          10
                         5 1X2 6       9
                              4           8
                                           7

Cards:
1) Heart of the Matter: The Lovers
2) Hindrance: The High Priestess
3) Conscious Thoughts: 2 of Cups
4) Unconscious Thoughts: The Empress
5) The Past/Receding Influence: 8 of Swords
6) The Future/Coming Influence: 5 of Cups
7) My Influence: 8 of Wands
8) External Factors: Knight of Cups
9) Guidance: Knight of Wands
10) Outcome: 9 of Wands

Jumpers: None

Comments: I've been growing a bit more upset, which means greater realisations. I've come back to believing that my belief system causes me my greatest hindrance, and it shows in the spread!

Interpretation: Heart of the matter we have the lovers, communication with others. This is what I wish to improve on, and here it is crossed by unconscious factors! Probably my poor belief system is to blame. The belief that I can never communicate well. The belief that I will not attract love. the belief that I was born to be alone. And so many more......

Conscious thought preoccupied with 2 of cups. Indeed, I am consciously looking for love. And am not doing well finding it. Failure to seize multiple opportunities with Nat is something that has hauntingly replayed in my mind since forever. I get very short but frequent bursts of negative emotions when I'm tired, and most of them come from recalling such failures. But maybe, love is not exactly what I need. The empress suggests that I am unconscious of my real want, which is simply feminine care and love. Not necessarily in a sexual or romantic way I guess, just, care. Quite true, seeing how my mother was the one who drilled me with these poor beliefs and debauched my anima. Maybe a change in thinking would help.

With deeper insights, comes liberation from restricting thought. This realisation of my true need takes me 1 step, no matter how small, towards full enlightenment. Influence of 8 of swords is slowly but surely receding. What is to come, however, is but disappointment, sad to say. In hopes my expanding my relationships with another, I may face rejection. Maybe a search for relationship rather than simple affection is the problem. Yet if this disappointment means being liberated from my depressing beliefs, I would gladly receive a thousand rejections from a thousand different Nats. (Maybe a thousand is too many :P Lets say a hundred?)

8 of Wands is one of those few cards still posing a problem for me. I guess here, I see myself as someone who is rash? Hasty? Constantly working without rest (more likely 10 of wands)? I'm not clear. Knight of cups is now others see me, and I can't blame them for seeing me that way. The way I behave around Nat, after that incident, its just abnormal. I always look so distressed and uneasy, and most of the time I actually am!

Advice is to turn that knightly volatile energy into creating change. Just do it. I'm not sure how, though, and the outcome of it shows me as the man in the 9 of wands, injured but still standing proudly. I guess that expression of suppressed energy would relieve depression a fair bit. 5 of cups as an incoming influence may be what leads to the 9 of wands, in which case, may not be a completely bad thing...... Perhaps the knight of wands is telling me to hasten this process? Yet I am laden with fear......

Conclusion: A depression question becomes to directed towards Nat and love in general. Definitely a root cause. I ain't sure how to follow advice to become a knight of wands, so maybe I should start small, with my beliefs and focus. Or maybe by just doing it, I would resolve those issues? Dilemmas......

Deck Interview: The Divine Tarot

Deck: The Divine Tarot

Question: An interview of the deck

Spread:             6
                       4 5
                        1
                       2 3

Cards:
1) Characteristic of the deck: The Devil
2) Weakness of the deck: 3 of Swords
3) Strength of the deck: 4 of Wands
4) What the deck can teach me: Death
5) How can I best learn from the deck: The High Priestess
6) Outcome of using the deck: 5 of Coins

Jumpers: None

Comments: I know its quite soon, but I got a new deck! The Divine Tarot, an amazingly beautiful deck. I've always thought Ciro Marchetti's work was wonderful, and I was really stuck between this and the Gilded Tarot (maybe next?).

Interpretation: At first sight, this doesn't look pretty at all. Characteristic of the deck is the devil, now shit gets real. So many things I can think of right now. The deck tempts me and plays me. The deck tends to show the sad predicaments of the querent. The deck is more material than spiritual. Gosh I knew the answer. And what to do with this deck......

3 of Swords as a weakness. This suggests to me that the deck is not so apt at handling sorrowful issues. And seeing how it proudly claims itself the devil, I'm not surprised at all by this......

4 of Wands in this deck shows a desolate wasteland, and 4 erect wands form a region where life flourishes. Not your standard RWS image. Reading the companion book, I learnt that this card is still of celebration, but one being able to celebrate despite horrible times. With all the darkness the previous two cards, this message is much welcomed, as it tells me there is still hope for balance.

The lesson the deck wants to teach me is death. Probably how to handle inevitable change and the end to good things. Ironic, as the devil is about obsessions and entrapment......

To learn from the deck, I must be like the high priestess, be in tune with my HGA.

Outcome, 5 of Coins. I don't really have an explanation for this. And then I realised that it's not me in the card. The beggar sticks her alms bowl out to me asking her help. I guess it means I would be able to help people through their insecurities through this deck.

The devil, though, still disturbs me. I guess only time will tell what it means. Overall, this deck seems like one who isn't afraid to reveal the darkest aspects of life......

Update 26/5/13
I think I understand what the devil means now. It is trying to show that the deck is so beautiful that it is alluring, and tends to get people attached to it very easily. Today, my friend spilled water on it. Just a little, on the edge. I got so upset for the whole day until I bought my rose quartz, which made me feel a little better. Now even though only a barely visible bit of wrinkles are on the card, I still feel upset by it. Devil, devil, devil......

Holy Guardian Angel 1

Deck: Universal Fantasy

Question: What is the message of my holy guardian angel?

Spread:          234
                     516
                     789


Cards:
1) Attitude or expectation of HGA: The High Priestess
2) 9 of Pentacles
3) 4 of Swords
4) 4 of Chalices
5) The Moon
6) The Emperor
7) The Devil
8) 9 of Chalices
9) 9 of Swords

Jumpers: None

Comments: Just to see what my HGA has to say to me, if he does exist. Somehow, after one look at the spread, I being to think he does. Firstly, I see three 9s and two 4s. (3, if you count the emperor) Also, chalices and swords appear in 4 and 9, and each card of the same number appear beside each other. Best part, the cards nearest to the HGA significator (The Emperor) carry the strongest message, and these 4 cards are the ones nearest to the HGA!

This is how this spread works. Card 1 shows your mindset and attitude towards your HGA. From the surrounding cards, a major arcana or court card is the HGA significator, selected by intuition. The other cards are messages from the HGA, and those closer to him carry more weight.

Interpretation: Card 1 is the high priestess. The high priestess represents a woman with a high level of connection with her own HGA, And possibly it might seem I expect my own HGA to connect with me well. That, I think it did, looking at the arrangement of this spread.

Of the moon, the emperor and the devil, I think the emperor is my HGA in this case. Though the devil and the moon have played big roles in my tarot life, it doesn't seem like they are my watchful angels.  The moon is under the sign of pisces, my star sign, and has been showing itself many times with this deck. The devil made a grand appearance by showing itself to me 3 times in 5 seconds quite recently. He gave me a complete shift in my mindset that I saw through some desires that kept me bound. In contrast, the emperor represents the control and dominion that I seem to be lacking in my life currently.

The first thing that catches my eye is the three 9s and the three 4s. What are the odds, really? Plus, swords and chalices both appear in 4 and 9, all 4 near the HGA. The two 4s are positioned above the HGA, and the two 9s are positioned below the HGA. I get an overall good feeling about 9 of chalices and 4 of swords, but a bad one with 4 of cups and 9 of swords. I think my HGA is suggesting a switch of some kind between emotions and thoughts. The way I see it, 4 chalices are not enough, and 4 swords are too many, hence the need for the switch. The two 'bad' cards form a vertical line with my HGA, and the two 'good' cards form a vertical line with my thoughts of my HGA.

At the bottom row, the 9 of chalices, typically meaning happiness, is found in between the devil and the 9 of swords. Not only does it look ominous, if you were me, it's very appearance is ominous. Two days ago, using my thoth, I did a two card reading on my current life. The two cards, well, you probably guess them. Now they come again, together, suppressing my happiness card. Much work has to be done on my highly restricting thoughts.

The leftmost vertical row, from bottom up, shows the devil, the moon and 9 of pentacles. Pictorially speaking, I see a huge menacing dragonic demon guarding a gateway to a paradise island. Further tells me I need to stop my habits restricting me.

Overall, "Fight the devil" is the message from my HGA. The 9 of swords and 4 of chalices also seem to reflect depression and alcohol, some of the problems I face currently. I am a little upset that it did not give me a sense of new-found reason to live, so maybe I'll ask for further information.

Question: How can I defeat the devil and what new purpose do I find after?

Spread:             1
                       234

Cards:
1) HGA: The Emperor (Fixed)
2) Problem I face: The Devil (Fixed)
3) How I can overcome the problem: 5 of Swords
4) Outcome and new found meaning of life when overcome: Ace of Wands

Interpretation: The 5 of swords looks ridiculous. A giant wearing a city as its armor. "If the price of victory is too high, it may be wiser to choose honorable defeat" - Little White Book. Honorable defeat? I'm not even clear of this struggle with the devil. What is victory and what is defeat?

The ace of wands seems to me like a promise of creative potential realised, after being freed by the bindings of the devil. Interesting, but seems to give me little motivation.

The Castle with 15 Rooms Trial

Deck: Universal Fantasy

Question: 6 Questions

Spread:           1 2 3 4 5 6
                          7 8 9
                        10 11 12
                        13 14 15

Cards:
1) King of Wands
2) 6 of Swords
3) 10 of Wands
4) 9 of Swords
5) 7 of Swords
6) 5 of Pentacles
7) King of Swords
8) (Not Revealed)
9) 3 of Chalices
10) 9 of Chalices
11) The Fool
12) (Not Revealed)
13) (Not Revealed)
14) Ace of Pentacles
15) The Hanged Man

Jumpers: None

Comments: The spread as in the booklet of the Universal Fantasy Tarot, The Castle with 15 Rooms. This one is different. so I'll have to explain the whole reading.

First, the top 6 cards are drawn face up. The next 9 cards are drawn and left face down. The querent asks a question and opens 1 of 9 cards of his choice. The selected card is then referred to the top six to look for similar attributes.

For the minor arcana, cards of the same suit are compared. The card selected shows the answer, and the cards matched above show alternate answers.

For the major arcana, they are compared to other major arcana. The card with the biggest number holds the most probable answer.

If no matches are found, read the selected card independently, and give it greater emphasis.

Up to 6 cards may be chosen before the cards need to be reshuffled.

This spread is really distasteful to me. Not only does it seperate the major from the minor and the elements from each other, it also requires the reader to answer the question with the interpretation of a single card. Still, the new face down concept is worth a shot.

Interpretation: While choosing the initial 6 cards at the top, I really had the shock of my life. Wands, swords, wands, swords, swords. Thank god the last card was a pentacle! Firstly, the top 6 (maybe I should call this the roof) is filled with so many swords and wands, so much activity! Somehow that idea makes me shiver. Secondly, with so may repeat cards, wouldn't my questions have multiple repeat answers? And the absence of chalices and major arcana show a lack of alternatives.

What is the future of my love life like?
Card 9: 3 of Chalices
Matching Cards: None
Three nude ladies, invoked from 3 cups by a magician at the bottom of the card. The idea of threesomes naturally comes to mind :D The women look sinister, with their dark pale skin and devious smiles. Also by comparison, the magician is so small, as compared to the ladies, and it does not show any interaction between the ladies and the magician. Also, reveling in these images of hot women, I can't help but think of the magician as watching porn, ready to masturbate anytime. General divination is that I would meet many hot women, but nothing solid will come out of it. Fuck my life.

Will I be more confident in future?
Card 10: 9 of Chalices
Matching Cards: None
In the card, the character is a blue lizard-man thingy. He is dressed in fine clothes and has a banquet table behind him, with a wide spread of food on it. The 9 cups are pictured as lamps which illuminate the room. All i can say is that he looks really happy. Confident, most probably. So may of the wants of the lizard fulfilled, food, clothes, house. The 9 of cups in RWS also means confidence anyway, so I don't really see how this could be bad. Which makes me wonder, fulfillment in the absence of love? I'm curious of my future!

How will I do for my A-Levels?
Card 15: The Hanged Man
Matching Cards: None
Worrying indeed. I sense a lot of stress coming up. The man in the card is being dragged across the sky by the bird against his own will. He is fearful and worried about his life. As will I if I do badly for my exams. Worst of all, he is bound and suspended, meaning there is nothing he can do about it. Probably I can't either. Still, this card advises to just let go and not fret over bad results, as some things are beyond control. Studies, however, are in my control.

What will my career be like?
Card 7: King of Swords
Matching Cards: 6 of Swords, 9 of Swords, 7 of Swords
Looks like my future job will be highly logic orientated. The king of swords suggests a leadership position for me, as he wields the sword and rules over others by it. The king also looks very intently at something, hinting that my future job would involve concentration. So much for my ADD.
6 of swords seems to show merchants traveling on a huge ass bird. They carry swords, which, when interpreted literally, means they are trading swords. An entrepreneur selling harmful stuff. Interesting. When viewed symbolically as intellect and logic, it suggests the role of a teacher perhaps, bringing his knowledge to share with others.
9 of swords shows a terrified woman overshadowed by a brute carrying many swords. If my job really involves intimidation of others...... good luck to me. On the other hand, 9 swords confronting the woman could mean using logic to mercilessly defeating the opposition. Debater? Critic?
7 of swords shows a guy with a pretty fancy shield as a weapon. He looks upon a fort encircled by dragons, as though planning to retake it for humans again. This guy is in all rights a hero, which is really contradictory of the 7 of swords in other decks. Am I to become a hero, say a firefighter or a policeman?

How will things with Penus be like in the future?
Card 14: Ace of Pentacles
Matching Cards: 5 of Pentacles
MONEY! Team Penus gets rich! The card shows a large floating platform where people are gathered on, like one huge party we have always been talking about planning when we grow up. Awesome.
The 5 of pentacles however paints a less optimistic picture. The money lies with 1 or some of us, and the others are beneath their heel and boot. Dark days indeed, if they were to come.

How will things with Demeter be like in future?
Card 11: The Fool
Matching Cards: None
The fool sits on green pastures with a field of flowers behind him. He looks calm and at peace. Butterflies flit out of his cap, probably showing that we will think of each other often. Unlike the other fools, this one does not fall off the cliff, but sits at it. His dog companion also does not chase after him. This fool has it well off, and so shall Demeter!

Deck Interview: Universal Fantasy Tarot

Deck: Universal Fantasy

Question: An interview of the deck

Spread:             6
                       4 5
                        1
                       2 3

Cards:
1) Characteristic of the deck: The Hanged Man
2) Weakness of the deck: Knight of Wands
3) Strength of the deck: 10 of Pentacles
4) What the deck can teach me: The Moon
5) How can I best learn from the deck: The Magician
6) Outcome of using the deck: King of Chalices

Jumpers: King of Swords Reversed

Comments: Just got the Universal Fantasy Tarot today, and my is it beautiful! The reviews of this deck however is that it somewhat strays from the mainstream tarot systems, so this might be a bit difficult to interpret. Gonna go with a whole lot of intuition for this one.

Interpretation: The characteristic of this deck is the hanged man. Hanged man is a free and relaxed guy in most cases, but here we have a man getting pulled up by an eagle! He is suspended up in the sky and looks very afraid. Is this deck going to show me things that would drastically surprise me? Damn.

The knight of wands in this deck rides a dragon like a boss. Wands is in the element of fire, fire is the most active element, the knights are very active cards, yet the dragon is not moving. Sounds to me like a kid high on sugar yet not allowed to move around. Weakness? Problems in expressing itself. That's not good at all for a tarot deck. Lets hope its strength can compensate for this.

So for strength, we have the 10 of Pentacles. I see a group of travelers, in some sort of building. One of them is looking far out into the distances. What I guess is that this deck is trying to show me it is far-seeing. I guess this sort of explains why it cannot express itself well, future concepts are too abstract for our understanding. Still, I think I've found my deck for divination.

The Moon. Aspects of our human psyche yet unknown to us. Mysterious and illusory things.The moon of this deck more clearly shows that the two "dogs" are guarding a potentially powerful source of strength, the moon. If this is what the deck can help me to learn, I feel safe to say this deck will be a lifesaver, as it helps me work through my neurosis.

The magician in this deck is seen to wield fire in the shape of a wand. Magicians are all about the use of will to effect change in the world. I think it means I really have to will my deck to show the right cards and interpret the symbols with clear intent.

The king of chalices obviously represents me. Gaining control over the emotional and intuitional parts of me, evident in the manipulation of waves and water to cover up his junk. A serpent can also be seen, showing the strength I gain from this new found power.

Overall, the general feeling I get is that this deck is hard to get acquainted with, but would serve as a deck that would put my emotional side back in order and balance.

Notes: Just as I was staring at the Knight of Wands thinking of an interpretation, the television outside started playing the music "Dragon Rider" by Two Steps From Hell. Serendipity!

Mun Wai and Soccer

Note: Done with 76 cards only, missing The Tower and The Moon. Study this reading at your own discretion.

Deck: Crowley Thoth

Querent: Mun Wai

Question: What is my relationship with soccer, past, present and future?

Spread:      1 2 3

Cards:
1) Past: The Sun
2) Present: 8 of Cups (Indolence)
3) Future: Princess of Wands

Comments: I'm probably just going to alternate between RWS and Thoth. As much as Thoth intrigues me, its tiring and difficult to learn, and the basics of RWS are more appropriate for my level.

Interpretation: The Sun is highly symbolic of the expression of self. From the card, I can tell that soccer was a great part of the querent's life in the past, and could even be used to define him as a person.

8 of Cups shows up in the present. Initially, I thought that the stagnated emotions portrayed by the card showed losing or lost interest in soccer. Yet, upon clarification, I learnt that this was not true at all, and his interest has only been increasing. What the card shows is, rather, The stagnation of his relationship with soccer at present (the question is about relationship, after all). This stagnation is a result of NS and his injury, which has separated him from soccer for about 3 years. 

That clarification brings new interpretations to the Princess of Wands. The princess defeats a tiger, which was inhibiting her before, showing that the querent will eventually recover and return to soccer. The sun on her wand suggests that the querent would go back to the way in the past, where soccer had an important role in his life.

Overall, it tells the story of his life with soccer. He loves the sport, but was forced to stop because of injury, and would eventually return to it with equal passion as before.